John Hazlehurst

John Hazlehurst

Boebert, Buck & Lamborn sounds like a respectable small-town law firm from the 1950s, doesn’t it? You’d expect the three principals would be serious, sober-minded and responsible citizens eager to participate in the betterment of their community, state and nation. But like Rudy Giuliani and so many other once-upstanding American citizens, they’ve become slaves to the mighty Trump. Apparently dedicating themselves to the destruction of their own party, they cling to the Donald, his family and his retainers.

I wouldn’t have expected anything else from novice politician Rep. Lauren Boebert, a true believer who leaped happily into the Trumpian swamp. But Reps. Ken Buck and Doug Lamborn ought to know better. Instead, they seem to be relying on old-style political calculations.

Biden won as Trump did in 2016; narrowly but decisively. In 2018, Democrats won the House, almost losing their House majority in 2020 while winning the Senate thanks to unanticipated results in Georgia and Arizona. History says that the party in power takes a hit in the House and Senate in the midterms, suggesting that the GOP should stay on course. Defer to Trump and his captive base, brand Dems as nincompoop socialists, statists, regulators and job-killers and all will be well.

That’s fine — but let’s not forget the events of Jan. 6. While the former president’s base may still believe in him, he is now viscerally detested by a substantial majority of voters. If Joe Biden governs reasonably well, within six or eight months we’ll be vaccinated, pandemic-free and ready to work, build, party and have fun. The economy will boom, Dems will take credit and the GOP will still be shadowed by DJT. Moderates will desert Republican candidates, and the party will be irrelevant for many years to come… maybe!

Yet no one should underestimate the ability of Dems to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. Absent Jim Clyburn’s full-throated support of Joe Biden in the South Carolina Democratic primary, Bernie Sanders might have been the party’s nominee and Trump would have easily gotten a second term. If Biden pays too much attention to climate policies and too little to job creation and retention, he could lose voters and erode support for his agenda. And looking ahead, will he gracefully step aside and endorse Kamala Harris in 2024? Will that lead to a bitter, chaotic struggle for the nomination? Or will an aging Biden be renominated and fall to a remorseless GOP attack dog (Josh Hawley comes to mind)?

Meanwhile, we lowly wretches who toil in the trenches of the misbegotten media should be grateful for Rep. Boebert. She’s newsworthy and making trouble in Washington. I loved her Jan. 22 tweet: “I work for the people of Pueblo, not the people of Paris.” Parroting Ted Cruz (and ignoring the fact that Paris was the location of the agreement, not the impetus for it) it combines disdain for cosmopolitan foreigners and Democrat globalists, opposition to the Paris Agreement on Climate Change and support for the hard-working folks of the Steel City. It’s 12 words of knownothingism taken to an extreme. Never mind that one of Pueblo’s largest employers is Vestas Wind Energy, an $11 billion Danish company dedicated to combating climate change.

Yet maybe Boebert’s on to something — does she want to transform Pueblo into Paris on the Arkansas? Let’s start by commissioning Vestas to build the Pueblo Tower, a soaring 3,000-foot monolith that would dwarf both the Eiffel Tower and the dangerously liberal Washington Monument. It’d incorporate a climbing route that would baffle Alex Honnold and utterly eclipse ultra-liberal California’s El Capitan in Yosemite.

Paris has the Seine, but Pueblo’s Riverwalk is better, right?

Also, Paris is all idiots who stand in line for hours to look at an old picture of someone named Mona Lisa — two first names... what’s that about? There are paintings at the Sangre de Cristo. The people are nice, you can afford Pueblo restaurants (if “Democrat job-killer” Gov. Jared Polis lets them open again) and concealed carry is fine!

OK, OK — I’m just making fun of a talented natural politician. Here’s my advice to her: You’re suddenly famous, so you can either cash in on your transient celebrity, or settle down and get serious. Make friends with Dems and moderates, work hard, take care of your constituents, get re-elected, earn the respect of your colleagues and run for president in 2032! 

And here’s a deal — do all those things and, if I’m still alive, I’ll vote for you.

John Hazlehurst, whose great-grandfather came to Colorado in 1859, is a Colorado Springs native. He has worked as a reporter/columnist for the Indy since 1997 and the Business Journal since 2006.