Send lawyers, guns and money

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The s**t has hit the fan – Warren Zevon “Lawyers, Guns and Money,” 1978.

You’d never expect the Colorado Springs City Council to so perfectly conform its meeting agenda to Warren Zevon’s great song, but just take a look at the agenda for Monday’s Council work session.

Item 8E (lawyers). A resolution of the City Council of the City of Colorado Springs concerning the retention of outside legal counsel. This one expresses City Council’s desire to employ outside counsel in the event that they disagree with the City Attorney’s opinion in any particular respect. It’s just another continuation of the Council – Mayor wars, and one that contravenes the letter and spirit of the City Charter. Get a grip, guys – the City can’t sue itself!

Items 1 – 11, inclusive (guns). We know that an overwhelming majority of Council supports concealed carry and gun rights, but did you know that at least one councilmember packs at the podium? I’m not going to reveal his/her name, since my front-row seat at Council meetings is directly in the potential line of fire, but miscreants be advised: it’s always Condition Red in council chambers.

Items 6B, (City for Champions update), 7A (Economic and community development impact of arts organizations), 8A (A Resolution submitting to the registered qualified electors of the City of Colorado Springs, Colorado, at Special Municipal Election as part of a coordinated election to be held on Tuesday, November 4, 2014, the question of whether the City shall authorize, regulate, and license the lawful operation of marijuana establishments and marijuana-related facilities within the City, and 8D An Ordinance Amending Ordinance No. 13-77 (2014 Appropriation Ordinance) for a Supplemental Appropriation to the Subdivision Storm Drainage Fund in the Amount of $2 million for the Purpose of Reimbursements to Developers for Eligible Major Drainage Improvements: Money! The arts are good for the economy, or so arts organizations contend. Retail marijuana would bring in the tax dollars, but taking care of infrastructure needs cost money. Conclusion: we need more arts organizations, and we can’t let Manitou Springs control the dope trade.

And here are some more prophetic lines from Lawyers, Guns and Money:

I’m the innocent bystander

Somehow I got stuck Between the rock and the hard place

And I’m down on my luck

And I’m down on my luck

And I’m down on my luck

Now I’m hiding in Honduras

I’m a desperate man

Send lawyers, guns and money…

That’s our city council! Like a 70’s fugitive hiding in Central America, they’ve found a solution to their woes – deal dope, make sure you’re armed, and get a lawyer just in case.

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