There are intrusions and unexpected events that take us off our course from moving toward what we want in life. Professionally, we may get a new boss or job, be dealing with declining budgets, go into business for ourselves or retire. Personally, we may be struggling in marriage, with a blended family, dealing with divorce, being an “empty nester’ or grieving the loss of a loved one.
At certain pivotal points in life, the intensity and duration of change can sometimes cause us to react with increased anxiety, anger and fear. This is only natural.
We all get derailed. Depending on the impact of the event our ability to face what happened will vary. During these times, how can we align who we are with what we’re facing?
1. Acceptance: Tony Robbins says, “Change is inevitable. Progress is optional.” Accepting the reality of change is the key to gracefully dealing with change. Think of maneuvering through change like practicing the martial art of Aikido. When you move with the flow of what is coming at you, rather than retreat or fight, your resistance lessens and your ability to face it strengthens.
2. Choose a new mindset: A mindset is a defined as a way of thinking that determines one’s behavior, outlook and mental attitude. What are some positive things that could come out of this difficult situation?
One option is to view it as a wake-up call in order to cause us to ask ourselves if the course we have been on still has the same meaning for us. Consequently, does the unexpected change offer a new opportunity?
3. Annihilate your negative self-talk: Begin by challenging your thought life. Ask if what you are saying to yourself is even true. Suppose you tell yourself, “I never do anything right!” The truth is that you do lots of things right. What would your life be like if you no longer believed the lie?
4. Connect with others: The company and comfort of others who understand what you are going through can be a transforming experience. It is human nature to band together in times of crisis. Although some might want to isolate and retreat, the best thing you can do for yourself is to reach out to another or join a group. When talking to those that have come through a challenging situation, they attribute a great deal of their success to the support of an individual or a group.
5. Focus on progress instead of perfection: Perfection does not exist; instead, focus on your capacity for progress. Progress is a goal that can be achieved each day. Work toward an outcome of progress, instead of a perfect one.
6. Practice gratitude: EckhartTolle said, “It is through gratitude for the present moment that the spiritual dimension of life opens up.” In the presence of difficulty, what is the good that you can be grateful for today?
Shan White, a certified life coach specializing in guiding women through traumatic transitions, offers a complimentary “Transition Challenge” session. Contact her at 719-388-8758 or WomensPeakPerformanceCoaching.com.